I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
