OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
