Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
