I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
