Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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