If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
