just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
