Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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