Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
