OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
