You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
