Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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