there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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