I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize