I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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