I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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