So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
