You smell like a Billy Joel song
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
