There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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