Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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