Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
