Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
