By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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