You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
