Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
