i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
