so that wasnt chicken after all
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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