my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
