Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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