your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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