the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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