Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
