Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
