Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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