great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just had sex on a roof
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
