if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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