He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
