well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
