Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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