Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I've blown a few things in my day
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
