This is not my ceiling
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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