If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
