I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
