So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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