There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize