Don't you send me to vm
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
