maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Did I show you my penis last night?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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