Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Drake has all the answers
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
