Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
