I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm always down for nudity.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
