Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
