there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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