The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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