sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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