Screwed.edu
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize