I'm gonna have a badass scar
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
