got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
