Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
