He is an equal opportunity slut.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Swine flu is the new snow day.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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