Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
