Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
