he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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