if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
