Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
