shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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