You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
