I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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