oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
