I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
