No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
