I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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