i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
