3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize