the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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