So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
