Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
